Sad to hear of your loss Brother. That must be very difficult. I second what Brother Lukas Anz'uun said below.

The Demonic rarely appears on command (in a visible way) unless they are a evoked by a skilled Demonologist who has experience and training in Satanic Magick and Witchcraft. - and even then it must be for some purpose and there must be some form of payment. Unless you have that training and experience, I would advise letting go of the idea of conjuring a Demon up or having them visit you.

Instead, consider working on a relationship with Satan, who is the Ruler of the Demonic Realms: gradually, over time. Read (books, websites, legitimate Satanic authors....that "reading" does not include Satanic porn posts, which do nothing for deepening a Satanic Path), talk with other Satanists, spend meditation time daily with Satan. It is necessary to have that rapport with Satan before He will open access to the Demonic Realms for you. Once you have that, then and only then, do you contact Demons and then - and only then - if you know about them very well (what they like, abhor), and also when you know which Demons are potentially human-helpful (for a fee - not talking about money here) and which ones are consistently human-harmful and therefore to always be avoided.