I’m not coming into this with answers.

I don’t really understand Satanism yet. Not properly. I haven’t read enough, I don’t have structure, and I’m not going to pretend I know what I’m doing.

All I know is something in me has shifted. What I used to lean on feels empty now. Like I was moving through something that didn’t see me, didn’t know me, didn’t demand anything real from me.

So I started looking.

This is where I’ve ended up.

A couple of people already on this path have said they see something in me. I don’t know what they mean by that. I don’t see it myself. But it stayed with me enough that I couldn’t just brush it off.

And the more I’ve looked into this, the more it feels like there’s something here — not just an idea, not just a mindset, but something that actually meets you when you stop hiding.

Something that expects you to face yourself properly.

I don’t know what that means yet. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with it. But I don’t want to stand at a distance from it anymore.

If there is something real here — something to give yourself to, something to align with — I want to understand how.

How do you actually live this day to day?

What does devotion or worship look like in practice, if it’s real?

How do you stay connected to it, not just when it feels intense, but when life is ordinary?

I don’t want surface-level answers. I don’t want to play at this.

I want to know what it means to step into it properly — and whether there’s something here worth committing to.

If you’ve walked this path for real, speak!